Greetings!

I hadn't realised the last update was so long ago!!

Things that have happened since then have included:
1) Lis and I are back together and back together jolly well.
2) 48 hours.

To expand:
Lis and I are back together. We're having a marvelous time. Not only is she a smoking hottie but he also makes me laugh and awful lot and... yeah. Apparently I'm funny. And in a sexy way. I did not know there was a sexy funny. But apparently, Yes! My days as Zoidberg are over. At least touchwood.

48 hours went rather well. We got musical which wasn't Ben nor my preferred genre - but we have the technology and the team (certainly not in that order) and what we came up with was something special. I wish I could show it to you. But that would disqualify us. So therefore suck it up and hope we win, which while delaying the awesomeness of you seeing New Fish (for that be the name of our sweet film), increases the chances of us getting phat booty.

Apart from that - at Dad's 60th in Blenheim. it is so far awesome. Also today I turned 28 and walked outside to work to see that Lis had plastered the front of my place with balloons and a giant sign that read 'Happy Birthday Dave'. Rarely have I felt so loved. It was pleasant.

She be lovely. But I don't want to curse it so instead I'll say she's alright. Yeah. ok. Nah not that interested. What you heard?

Wine is calling for euthanasia.

location: Blenheim!!! music: Dishwasher is ze background tags: rambling rambles

I think I killed my wife.

I didn't mean to. But then the screen loaded, I grew horns.

The problem was no-one took the time to listen to my side of the story.

Here's what happened. I was hanging around the temple of shadows (quite a popular place) when I thought I'd sacrifice a few of their disciples to their evil god. Wouldn't let me do this so instead I took 8 of them out for a walk, played them a song on my lute and then roasted them in fire until they burned. THEN somehow a) word gets back, and b) people think this is a bad thing. I don't understand... they were servants of evil. So my wife finds out, runs away - I run after her hoping we can patch things up. She runs into the gardens... by the time my Xbox has caught up with the drama the authorities have removed her body and taken my kid to the orphanage.

I don't know where the orphanage was.

So - and I was really angry with this - I went to the other side of the known world. Completing a job for a guy who says he wants to clean the place up. Grab some wine from a cupboard and someone starts shooting at me. So I kill them. A couple of hookers walk in. I think - why not? I apparently killed the only woman I ever... married. So I have a threesome with a couple of hookers. Apparently my shoulders are strong. Then we finish up and they see the corpse that was close by and freak out for some reason, grab a gun that didn't appear to be anywhere on their personages during the festivities and bang bang they're shooting at me.

So I have to kill them too.

By now people think I'm pretty freaking awful. Which makes me feel sad. I didn't mean to kill my wife, the strange angry homeowner or Anna and Sarah the aggressive, bisexual, raunchy, kinky, randy hookers. But it kind of happened.

I lost myself in freeing villagers from the slavers for a while. but my heart wasn't really in it.

So I do this quest for a gravedigger who's fallen in love with a 500 year old witch. Rescue her body parts (she was a witch so she'd been dismembered in a whole bunch of places) and sat around to watch the experimentation. Looked much better than I thought she would. And she obviously liked the way I looked. Gravedigger started crying but... well look everyone had been so mean to me that I wanted something I little bit special. I wanted to treat myself. And what says 'cheer up, sport' than a 500 year old undead witch?

We got married.

Somewhat confused by the fact we've had a child. Child appears to be not-undead. Child is not dead either, actually.

location: Albion mood: aggravated music: Heart-strings snnapping like a demented lute tags: xbox

I've been playing a bit of Fable 2 over the last few days. It's disturbing how attached I'm getting to my family... However I'm a little alarmed by several recent developments.

1: I moved my family to Bowerstone. Yet when I go to Bloodstone (a violent, dangerous place) my wife is already there hanging with the prostitutes. Is she trying to supplement our income? How'd she get past the banshees? Can't she leave me alone to do my job? Why is she out of the kitchen?

2) My daughter refused to talk to me. Or come inside. Or acknowledge me. Unless I gave her chocolate - in which case she ate it and kept ignoring me. This hurt the old heartstrings. So I moved us into a nicer place. She's started talking to me again. Cost me $30,000. In real life I'd bring out the old section 59.

3) My son is black. I don't know how this happened. I'm white. Missus is white. Maybe, as Todd has pointed out she has a recessive black gene. But I'm suspecting tomfoolery. Not happy.

4) I got propositioned by a hooker. And said yes. But she was in love with me and wouldn't sleep with me until we were married. She complained I thought she was a tramp. Random.

I'm enjoying the game. But suspect it's all going to end terribly for everyone. Especially my family.

No spoilers please - I'm enjoying this game far far far too much.

but I tells you - if I have one more ethnic child to that wife of mine theres going to be trouble...

location: Gregor mood: anxious music: Dave Brubeck tags: xbox

12 weeks smokefree.

Smell that? Smells like victory.
(also - I can smell again!!)

sweet.

location: Gregor mood: indescribable music: Elliot Smith - Alameda tags: excitement